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Weight Loss Tip that Works: Forget the Diet!

Instead of punishing yourself this time, try going on a diet from negative thoughts.

At the start of each new year, we all have a wonderful inclination to "start fresh"; to begin something we've wanted to start, or stop something we need to stop. For many people, they feel the need to begin a diet (again). I would like to suggest that you put that idea aside for a moment, and work on something more important, that will get you what you want… loving yourself, just as you are. Why? Let me explain, by means of example.

In 1997, when my husband and I separated, my son was very affected by it. He had begun putting on weight, and put on even more after the break-up, so that, at age 12, he was 5'5'', and 190 pounds. The kids (I have twins) had also just begun public school after attending private school all their lives, and the difference in attitude and language was also a shock to my son. At school, the kids called him names, and wouldn't even let him have a seat on the bus, calling him "fat" names and mocking him. He didn't fight back, just lowered his head and, when he got home, began stuffing food in his mouth. Any mother can imagine the pain I felt for my son. I wanted to get on that bus and beat them up myself (I am a black belt in karate and I probably could have done it), but that wouldn't have done my son any good. It would have just made things worse.

At night, when my kids are asleep, I always go into their room and kiss them. My son is a very handsome young man, and I can remember going into his room one night, and looking at his face. It broke my heart; there was so much fat on his face you could hardly see the good-looking boy beneath it. I thought, "My handsome boy is trapped in a prison of fat. No one can even see what I see in him" I could foresee a painful and difficult adolescence for him, if something didn't change.

I wanted so much to help him, but I have had experience with helping others lose weight before and I knew that forcing him on a diet would only lead him to sneak food, and eat even more. I had to do something that would really work. As I looked at his face that night, I realized that he had so much self-loathing, that he thought he would be a better, more attractive person if he would only lose weight. I had also read the book, Heal Your Body, by Louise L. Hay, and learned that fat expresses a need for protection.

The next morning, I talked to my son. I told him I wanted him to know that, with or without the extra weight, he was still the same wonderful person he always was. I was there the day he was born, and I saw his extraordinary qualities first-hand. I told him that no one could tell me any different, including him, because I KNEW this for a fact. If he chose to lose weight because he wanted to, I would help him, but it wouldn't change him, because he didn't need changing. I said he had to know and believe that, because losing weight wouldn't change who he was at all.

He nodded thoughtfully, as if he understood, then said that he did want to lose weight. Then came the time for action. I put him on the "Five Alive" program. Actually, it's not a program, just something I made up, using a little psychology. I told him he had to eat 5 fruits or veggies each day, drink lots of water, and exercise. I figured the 5 fruits or veggies might keep him too busy chewing to eat other things.

I am quite a fitness fan myself, but that summer, I did whatever workout he wanted to do. Usually, it was street hockey (ouch!) or soccer, something I am also not good at! They weren't my sport of choice, but I wanted to do something he'd be willing to do. Sometimes, we'd go walking or to the gym. I never told him to step on a scale, and I never told him not to eat snacks, chips, or cookies. On his own, he began carefully watching what he ate. At the end of 3 months, he got on a scale himself, and came back and told me. "Mom, I lost 30 pounds!"

I was ecstatic, for him. He and I didn't work out as much after that (my shins were grateful not to be playing street hockey anymore!), but he continued on his own. Without any suggestion from me, he started asking, "Mom, how many cals do you think is in this?" Now, at 17, he is 155 and 5'8'', a strikingly handsome young man, in Scholars Plus, captain of the swim team, and regularly works out with weights. He has come into his own.

I wasn't as "metaphysical" or spiritually-oriented back then as I am now, but my burning desire to help my son out of his pain led me to stumble onto an important concept: "If you want to lose weight, you must first go on a diet from negative thoughts." If my son hadn't focused at the start on his own magnificence, and believed it, maybe only because I believed it, he would never have gotten out of the fat trap. Think of people who have undergone the expensive and often fatal process of liposuction. After the weight was artificially removed, it came right back on. Because they changed their weight, but they hadn't changed their thoughts.

This same process can work for you. Before starting yet another diet, start learning to love yourself, as you are (for more suggestions on this, read my article, Self-Esteem Means Loving Who You Are, by clicking on the "New!" Articles by Mindy Hitchcock, at left). Don't hate yourself for being fat. Begin to acknowledge yourself as the magnificent being of light that you are. Loving yourself will then lead you to take the action you need to accomplish what you want. Without loving yourself, you will never get out of the trap.

Thoughts are powerful, but they are easy to change. Much easier than trying to take off weight without support from the one person who makes all the difference…you. Love who you are, the good and so-called bad, and let the weight lose itself. Yes, you can do it. I know and affirm that you can.

Affirm: I love and accept myself, exactly as I am, right now. I have a slender, healthy body.