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Find True Love By Loving Yourself

Looking for love in all the wrong places? It's time to look within...

 By Mindy L. Hitchcock

Do you know that you are beautiful and lovable, just the way you are? Do your loved ones know it, too, and honor and respect you for who you are? Or, on the other hand, do you find yourself surrounded by people who don’t appreciate you, a lover who is jealous and demanding, or who asks why can’t you be different? Perhaps this is what you think about your significant other.

It’s time to look again into our “magic” mirrors, for all of our relationships are mirrors. If you are with someone who constantly criticizes and belittles you, you can be sure that you constantly criticize and belittle yourself. If you are with someone who is always angry or fearful, that is because it is how you feel inside.

Try to understand that the people around us have come into our lives to teach us what we need to learn about ourselves. The people we like, reflect the loving aspect of ourselves. And the people we dislike, reflect the patterns in us that, at a very deep level, we want to change. Then we usually get angry and blame them for being wrong. However, instead of blame, try to see the lesson in that person that you need to learn. Once you learn the lesson and are willing to change, the people in your life will either treat you differently, or they will move out of your life. In short, if you learn the lesson, you can move on to happier experiences. And if you don’t, you can be sure that that same character will keep reappearing in your life until you do.

For example, at one point in my life, I continually attracted men who did not appreciate my talents and abilities. I tried and tried to impress them, but they never really saw me for who I was. After several years, as I began my own spiritual journey, I finally got the message (this moment was the day when I wrote “Our Relationships Are Mirrors”). I realized that it wasn’t him who I wanted to acknowledge and appreciate me, it was myself! I was the one who did not recognize my own talents and abilities. His critical lack of appreciation was merely a reflection of how I saw myself! That was a wonderful day for me. Not surprisingly, that critical, unappreciative character soon disappeared from my life, and he has not been back!

Try this experiment yourself, with an open mind and heart: Think of someone in your life who irritates you. Now, write down the things about them that you dislike. Next, sit quietly and look into your inner “magic” mirror, and ask yourself where you do the same things. If the quality you find is criticism, just notice where you are critical of yourself or others. And then begin to affirm “I am willing to release the need to be critical of myself and others.” Say it over and over, any time you feel like criticizing.

As you do this, you will begin to notice how many times per day you think critical thoughts. Of course this is nothing to criticize yourself for! Just notice and learn. If your pattern is complaining, or assuming failure, or being fearful, just do the same thing. Each time you see that pattern appearing, say, “I am willing to release the need to complain, or be fearful, etc.” Try to realize that the negative feelings you have created about yourself have merely come from a thought, and that thought can be changed. That is where our freedom lies, and our power

We did not come into this world to “fix” anyone else. We are here to heal our own lives. If you continually blame someone else and think they are the problem, you give away your own power. But if you begin to realize that you (your thoughts) are the problem, you can take charge, change your thoughts, and move on to the glorious new experiences that you really want.

Affirmation: It is easy for me to make changes. I am willing to release the pattern in me that is creating this condition. I forgive everyone; I forgive myself.